1
00:00:00,670 --> 00:00:05,280
******holy hot mamas!

2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:07,960
But who will be the final
mommy that you'd like to--

3
00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:08,830
oh,you know.

4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,450
I came here to be number one!

5
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:13,750
coming up next,here on nbc.

6
00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:16,700
Are you guys gonna
do any work today or--

7
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:19,510
zip it. Milf island is on.

8
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:24,220
20 milfs, 50 eighth-grade
boys, no rules.

9
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:27,200
And tonight,one winner.

10
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,710
Welcome to milf island.

11
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,430
This show is the worst.

12
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:34,260
Didn't one of thos milfs
die during production?

13
00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:37,170
She had too much champagne, and a
monkey knocked her into some quicksand.

14
00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,900
It could happen anywhere.

15
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,880
miss lemon,we might have a problem.

16
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,090
I went through the paper looking
for that article on speed dating

17
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,050
- that you asked about...
- uh,buh duh jee jee je...

18
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:47,510
when I came across this.

19
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:49,580
Who...

20
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:50,910
did... this?

21
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,030
Who did what?

22
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,040
This is from today's
page 6 gossip column.

23
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:57,770
"Which tgs with tracy jordan staffer "

24
00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:03,240
called corporate honcho jack
donaghy "a class 'a' moron?

25
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:06,950
"Donaghy is up for the G.E.Chairmanship,
"but one employee has misgivings,

26
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:10,280
adding,'that guy can eat my poo.'"

27
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,550
Who said this?

28
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,290
- not me.
- Not me.

29
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,270
- It wasn't me.
- I wasn't even working that day.

30
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,680
Liz...

31
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:19,650
mr. Donaghy would like to see
you in his office immediately.

32
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:23,890
Well,it better not be about that quote
because I am not taking the bullet for this!

33
00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:28,420
This is bad. Like,lose you job bad.

34
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,750
Prepare for the craziest night
of television of your life.

35
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:38,680
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents

36
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:46,100
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ

37
00:01:46,110 --> 00:01:49,380
30 Rock
Season02 Episode11</font>

38
00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,590
Well,I'm going to get yelled at.

39
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,660
What's going on with you?

40
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:57,740
The season finale of milf island.

41
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,890
and I'm gonna watch
it alone in my office.

42
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,190
That's pretty grim,pete.

43
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,540
Ooh,a dangler!

44
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:03,830
Liz,I'm gonna get free food.

45
00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:05,800
It's soy joy.

46
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,930
Who doesn't love soy joy?

47
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:12,010
Somebody upstairs has changed their
mind about old pete hornberger.

48
00:02:17,410 --> 00:02:19,330
I'm stuck!

49
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,550
Lemon...

50
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,120
remember this?

51
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:31,030
Deborah and shauna squaring
off at erection cove.

52
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,260
um,I don'T. I don't
really watch this show.

53
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,330
that deborah's amazing.

54
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:38,150
Have you heard her story?

55
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:42,850
Before she was cast on milf island, she
was just a struggling actress living in L.A.

56
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:44,350
Wow,that's inspiring.

57
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,210
She has real star quality.

58
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:47,150
You should meet with her.

59
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,190
Wait,is that why you called me up here?

60
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,580
Sir,I have sumner redstone
calling to congratulate you.

61
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,540
I'll return.

62
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:56,150
The calls have been
pouring in all night.

63
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,440
Milf island's huge.

64
00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,870
I guess I should be out celebrating, but
I'm waiting for a call from don geiss.

65
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,890
You think he'll call me "jackie-boy"?

66
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,730
Then I'll be at erection cove.

67
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:06,580
Congratulations,jack.

68
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,850
You must be very proud.

69
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:11,050
When you meet with deborah, have her
do her indian cab driver impression.

70
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,560
She--she really
pulls it off.

71
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,570
Now,why would I meet with her?

72
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,080
Because we're developing a spin-off,
and I thought you could write it.

73
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,880
Oh,,thanks!

74
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:22,030
I don't want anything
to do with milf island.

75
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,670
That show is kinda
lowest common denominator.

76
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,450
The critics said that same
thing about shakespeare.

77
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:30,550
Yeah,but shakespeare never had a
confessional shower sponsored by dove pro-age.

78
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,740
So you have seen the show.

79
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,630
And why shouldn't you?

80
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,020
It has sex,lies,puberty,
betrayal,relay races.

81
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:38,370
Milf island reflects the
drama of the human experience.

82
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,080
And isn't that the essence of art?

83
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,450
I don't think eating
bugs to earn tampons...

84
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:45,020
episode nine. 22 million viewers.

85
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:47,750
Is art. Performance is an art.

86
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,490
Writing is an art. What we do is art.

87
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,360
Someone put too many
farts in this engine!

88
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,900
It's about to explode!

89
00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,830
Okay,fine. Don't meet with her.

90
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,070
I just saw the opportunity for you
to make An obscene amount of money.

91
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,150
Well,no thanks. I have integrity.

92
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,020
It's farting! It's farting!

93
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,620
Myirt.

94
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:14,380
Anyway,unless there's something
else, I'm just gonna...

95
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:20,660
actually,we do need to
resolve the page six debacle.

96
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,700
You know,if you google the phrase "class
'a' moron," my name pops up first now.

97
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:28,400
So step aside, randy quaid.

98
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,050
Jack,I'm sorry you saw that.

99
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,540
It's not good timing
for me,professionally.

100
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:34,130
I will find out who did it.

101
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,070
I'll beat it out of them.

102
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,500
No,no,here's how we're
gonna play this situation.

103
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,770
We're gonna turn up the
heat on your people...

104
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:42,720
and see who breaks first.

105
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,000
Jonathan...

106
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,120
could you round
up those idiots--

107
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,490
hey,buddies.

108
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,800
he knows,doesn't he?

109
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,340
Yeah,and he's not happy.

110
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:55,240
Does he think it's me?

111
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,760
Did he--did
he mention me?

112
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:59,770
No,I think you're safe because I
think he forgot that you're a person.

113
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:00,510
Yeah!

114
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,130
Come on,how long is this gonna take?

115
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,730
Our pizzas are downstairs,

116
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:08,440
and the tribunal was just about to make one
of the last four milfs hang up her bikini top.

117
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,760
Zalutha...

118
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,810
you've kept it tight.

119
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,600
Heidi...

120
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,780
we no longer want to hit that.

121
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:23,850
Get off milf island!

122
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:33,000
Can I just get the pizzas
and bring them up here?

123
00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:36,450
No,no,you have to stay here in
case mr. Donaghy calls you in.

124
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:40,930
Look,whoever did this
needs to fess up now.

125
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:41,890
I can protect you.

126
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,530
I just need to know who it is.

127
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,150
Fine,everybody but me close your eyes.

128
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,010
Whoever did it, raise your hand.

129
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,830
Oh,really mature,guys!

130
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,360
You are on your own.

131
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,180
Miss lemon,can I have
a word with you,please?

132
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,620
Lutz,come here.

133
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,180
We should form an alliance.

134
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,040
A what?

135
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:05,990
An alliance.

136
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,920
We're the two biggest
dirtbags around here.

137
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,280
They're gonna try to blame us.

138
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:11,250
I don't think people see me that way.

139
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:13,080
Yeah,they do. You and me.

140
00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,600
A couple of fat pervert losers.

141
00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:16,900
My sister-in-law did kinda
a makeover on me. I thought--

142
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,200
no. No.

143
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,440
Hello? A little help!

144
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:26,180
My shirt is caught on what
feels like a very sharp...

145
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,510
mechanism.

146
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,460
Ooh,maybe if I can get the shirt off.

147
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:43,710
What?

148
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,190
What is it,kenneth?

149
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,790
Well,I was thinking about this item in the
newspaper, and something doesn't make sense.

150
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,800
What do you mean?

151
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:53,920
Well,I know toofer would never use
the word "poo," so it's not him.

152
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:57,540
And frank couldn't have done it because he
was with me all day making fun of my haircut.

153
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,720
And also, I saw you do it.

154
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:04,510
The game... is about...to change!

155
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,830
What do you mean you saw me do it?

156
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,670
It was yesterday, downstairs.

157
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,050
Liz lemon,I'm gonna
miss the show this week.

158
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,330
Jack is sending me to
do stand-up in dubai.

159
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:17,150
I'm gonna do jokes on airplane food.

160
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,580
It's all new to them.

161
00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:20,630
No,tracy,you can't miss the show.

162
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,170
Well,don't blame me, blame jack.

163
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,530
He's the one I'm splitting
the $3 million with.

164
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:29,030
You and jack donaghy are
the cause of my jawline acne!

165
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,460
You work for jack donaghy?

166
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:35,270
That class "a" moron? Unfortunately.

167
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,980
Must be tough taking orders
from a guy like that,huh?

168
00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,760
I don't take orders
from him. He's an idiot.

169
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,700
He doesn't know what he's
doing. That guy can eat my poo.

170
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,800
- Do you work here too?
- No.

171
00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:51,650
I'm a reporter for the new york
post, specializing in business gossip.

172
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,920
And then you asked him if he was single, and
he said,"don't worry about it," but then--

173
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,010
okay,fine,you got me! I did it.

174
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,780
But I am not taking
the fall for this one.

175
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:04,140
I have taken too many bullets
for my idiot staff in the past.

176
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,530
Jonathan,did someone turn the heat up?

177
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:07,340
No idea.

178
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,070
Where I'm from, we
don't notice the heat.

179
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,390
that's interesting.

180
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,500
I didn't know it was
hot in assholevania.

181
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:15,600
I deserve one free pass.

182
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,070
But that's not the right thing to do.

183
00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:18,670
Yes,yes,kenneth.

184
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,780
But jack and i are friends.

185
00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:23,110
It would screw things
up if this came out.

186
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,470
What if I really messed up his
chances of getting that promotion?

187
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:31,010
I would be so sad if
I got caught for this.

188
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,890
But you're not supposed to lie.

189
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,700
You apple-faced goon!

190
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,250
Fine,I will tell him.

191
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,570
Oh,pray for me.

192
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:49,660
Really?

193
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:52,310
Is everyone watching tv?

194
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:05,250
Yes! Okay,okay...

195
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:06,900
Okay...

196
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:10,080
I just need four numbers.

197
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,820
Call anybody in the building.

198
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:17,520
Any... random...number.

199
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,590
Yes! Hornberger!

200
00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:33,450
Hello,you've reached
pete hornberger at tgs.

201
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:35,030
Please leave a message.

202
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,590
A class "a" moron.

203
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,280
Yeah, how are you doing?

204
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:49,450
Lemon,can I share something with you that
I've never shared with anyone in my life?

205
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,470
I would rather you didn'T.

206
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,810
When I was a child, I
had a terrible stutter.

207
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,760
And I was so embarrassed by it
that I rarely spoke in class.

208
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,690
You were a stutterer?

209
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:58,590
Couldn't get a word out.

210
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,300
Needless to say I was the
object of some ridicule.

211
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,170
Because of my reticence,
they assumed I was stupid,

212
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:07,610
and the massachusetts public
school system designated me

213
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:12,220
a class "a" moron.

214
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,310
Oh,no.

215
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,490
the stutter got so bad i
was taken out of my grade

216
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:20,570
and put in the special class
held in the boiler room.

217
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:23,850
My only other classmate was named gilly.

218
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:28,690
He'd fallen through the ice as a child
and was technically dead for 57 minutes.

219
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,820
They taught us to sweep sawdust
so we could find work at a mill.

220
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,970
I'm sure whoever said that
thing in the post had no idea--

221
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:38,390
of course,I overcame the
stutter in three languages.

222
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,410
On to princeton,harvard, the
top of the business world.

223
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:44,950
I thought i'd blocked this out, but a thing
like this brings back some old emotions.

224
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,980
I'm so sorry.

225
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:49,940
I feel like I'm back in that boiler
room making little piles of sawdust

226
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,240
while gilly plays with
himself in the corner.

227
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,140
I'm sorry, did you want something?

228
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,280
I just wanted to tell you...

229
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,740
that I've narrowed it
down to toofer or frank.

230
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,580
Thank you.

231
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,450
God,I am famished.

232
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,510
those are jack's!

233
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,700
Come on,guys.

234
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:15,120
Whoever did it,just confess
so we can get out of here.

235
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:16,700
Why are you looking at me and lutz?

236
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,080
I wasn'T.

237
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:21,280
I think lutz'll tell
you that I'm innocent.

238
00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:22,320
No,I won't,dude.

239
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,270
What the frak?

240
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,870
I thought we had a dirtbag alliance!

241
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,970
I'm not a dirtbag.

242
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,670
This is from amican eagle!

243
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,110
You formed an alliance?

244
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,970
That strongly insinuates guilt.

245
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:34,220
Well,I think pointing fingers
at people makes you seem guilty.

246
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:34,850
Thanks,judas.

247
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,260
- I thought we had a deal.
- You lis!

248
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:40,390
Who cares if you went
to harvard? Who cares?

249
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,480
Debra, what was the hardest
part of this for you?

250
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,390
I would have to say...

251
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,090
the physical challenges.

252
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:52,260
I mean,you're tired,
hungry, want to go home.

253
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,780
And then you just reach inside yourself,

254
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:57,060
and you find the strength that
you didn't even know you had.

255
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,260
I mean,one of my implants exploded...

256
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,460
and I didn't even ask
to get off the catapult.

257
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:08,680
now,boys,there are only two
milfs left: Debra and deborah.

258
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,990
But one of them is going home.

259
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,770
And it will be revealed...

260
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,180
after three more breaks.

261
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,450
Deborah's played the game so well.

262
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:21,090
Even if she loses,
america's gonna want more.

263
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,740
Maybe it's a talk show.

264
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,570
No,jack,I'm not working on it.

265
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,200
Jonathan,turn up the heat a
little more and send in kenneth.

266
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:27,760
Kenneth?

267
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,900
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

268
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:31,140
He won't know anything.

269
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,920
Kenneth...

270
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:35,270
you're the eyes and ears of tgs.

271
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,820
So liz and I were hoping you could
help us to track down the person

272
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:42,190
who's been saying these hurtful
things about me in the paper.

273
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:48,590
Well,sir,I'm sure that
whoever did this regrets her...

274
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:53,920
or his mistake, and
will do the right thing.

275
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:55,740
I certainly hope so.

276
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,580
Do you have any guesses?

277
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,500
Kenneth,I need an answer.

278
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,670
The stress of this is
making me awful sleepy.

279
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:15,120
sir, there's a call on two i
think you're gonna want to take.

280
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:18,140
Mr. Geiss,I-- oh,hello,
vice president cheney.

281
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:19,620
I'm gonna kill you.

282
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:23,180
Yes,I hope deborah wins as well.

283
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:25,990
No,they're not real, unfortunately.

284
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:27,390
Get out of here!

285
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,040
I can't believe you didn't tell him!

286
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,420
You listen to me, li'l abner.

287
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,400
Keep your fried baloney hole shut!

288
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,150
I am not going down for this!

289
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,270
I'll tell him you did it.

290
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,470
Who do you think he's gonna believe?

291
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,090
I'm important around here.

292
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,780
Miss lemon,your eyes look like my uncle's
after he would drink from the air-conditioner.

293
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,180
I thought we were friends.

294
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,370
I didn't come here to make friends.

295
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,620
I came here to be number one!

296
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,020
liz lemon!

297
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,200
I can't believe they put
what you said in the paper.

298
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,710
Shh--how do you
know about that?

299
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,650
this is a cathy cartoon!

300
00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:01,630
Yeah,that cartoon copied exactly
what you said the other Y.

301
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,920
Chocolate,chocolate, chocolate! Aack!

302
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:08,350
If you decide to sue
them, I know a good lawyer!

303
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,910
Took me to the cleers last year.

304
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,110
the truth will come out.

305
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,390
Like my cousin steven after he went
to music college, it will come out.

306
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:20,680
stay tuned for one
final, shocking twist.

307
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:21,680
Shut up!

308
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:22,940
Brought to you buy soy joy.

309
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,770
Fortified with optimism.

310
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:29,690
Jack,it's almost 11:00.

311
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,620
Why don't you let thos guys go
home, and we'll all sleep on it?

312
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,490
They called me stammerhead shark,lemon.

313
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,310
What?

314
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,660
The kids at school.
They called me names.

315
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:40,310
Mrs. Stutterworth, stutterfingers...

316
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,340
stuttermilk pancakes.

317
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,250
The butter thing opened
up a lot of doors for them.

318
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:49,140
You know,I wore
corrective shoes as a kid.

319
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:49,710
Really?

320
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,910
When I was born, I had a
malformed extra baby foot

321
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,690
extending from my actual foot.

322
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,060
They think maybe i ate my twin.

323
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:03,350
But after the surgery to
remove it, I walked pigeon-toed.

324
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,250
So all through grade school, I
had to wear corrective foot gear

325
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:10,660
that attached to a headgear.

326
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,720
Gilly chewed through his headgear.

327
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,560
My point is,I survived.

328
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:15,930
It made me a better person.

329
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,600
And he same is true of you.

330
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:21,470
All this,all your success is
because of that certificate.

331
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,280
It made you who you are.

332
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,920
And that is not a bad thing.

333
00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:26,780
Thank you,lemon.

334
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:30,730
Look. The final council is starting.

335
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,830
Deborah has the bearing of a queen.

336
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,320
- Maybe you did it!
- Why would I do it?

337
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:40,720
- That is so stupid.
- You know people at page six!

338
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:42,970
I hate all of you!

339
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,810
Order! Order,I say!

340
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,940
We must not be rash.

341
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:53,070
We must divorce ourselves from our
prejudices, and appeal to our higher reasoning.

342
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:55,700
This is the speaking banana.

343
00:15:55,710 --> 00:16:01,220
Everyone will get a chance to speak,and
only then will we make our decision.

344
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:06,030
Josh,my friend, you are first.

345
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:10,680
Look,I would never do this
because I'm loyal to the show.

346
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:11,790
That dude did it!

347
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,050
I knew it was you!

348
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:17,130
Look at his light eyes.
They're freaky like a wolf!

349
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:20,630
Keep it down!

350
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960
Why are you still here?

351
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,740
I love it up here. It's
hot,it's loud, there's no pizza.

352
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,180
It's like miami.

353
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,960
Maybe liz did it.

354
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,500
Are you kidding me?

355
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:35,980
After all the times i have defended you guys
and covered up for you, How dare you accuse me!

356
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,170
you say you're sorry right now.

357
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,570
I'm sorry.

358
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,730
Please don't cry, it's
making me feel weird.

359
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,580
I can't take this anymore.

360
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:47,330
I'm going to put an end to it.

362
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,060
I said those bad things about
you in the newspaper,sir.

363
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,270
Kenneth,you?

364
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,280
I couldn't lie anymore,sir.

365
00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:59,230
Because everyone knows the weight
of a lie makes your soul so heavy

366
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,450
that you can't rise up to heaven.

367
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,780
And you don't look good
in jeans from behind.

368
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,430
But why,kenneth?

369
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,470
Is it because I made
you work late last night?

370
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,110
Yes,sir. That was it.

371
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,750
I was here folding milf island tee
shirts until 2:00 in the morning.

372
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,620
And then you didn't even offer me one.

373
00:17:13,630 --> 00:17:17,190
Needless to say i grumbled about
you to anyone who would listen.

374
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,640
Don't know what to say, kenneth.

375
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:23,000
You've embarrassed
yourself and the show.

376
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:25,230
You may have compromised my
chances of running this company.

377
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,720
And needless to say,
you've hurt me personally.

378
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,360
Lemon,do you have
anything you want to add?

379
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:36,630
You disgust me.

380
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,830
- Well,that's over.
- deborah wins!

381
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,440
She played the game so well.

382
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:50,080
She manipulated,she lied.

383
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,460
She got a pretty bad staph infection.

384
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:56,310
But tonight, deborah is our winner.

385
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,910
Who won?

386
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,730
myirt!

387
00:18:13,740 --> 00:18:15,530
Jack,what are you doing here?

388
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:16,810
Geiss called me.

389
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:17,800
Oh,good.

390
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,590
I've never heard him sound so happy.

391
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,380
He called me "jackie boy."

392
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:25,630
And deborah's testing off the charts
in the most profitable demographics.

393
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,510
Soccer moms,nascar dads,
white-collar pervs, and the obese.

394
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,100
Congratulations.

395
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,390
I've really come a long way since
that heart attack, havet I,lemon?

396
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,100
Geiss' job is mine to lose.

397
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:40,400
There's just one thing
still bothering me.

398
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:43,070
Kenneth's story doesn't add up.

399
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,170
You want some pizza?

400
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,980
Kenneth said he was folding
tee shirts until 2:00 A.M.

401
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,190
But the post goes to press at midnight.

402
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,250
Even if he somehow did bump into a reporter
in the elevator, it would be too late.

403
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:56,010
Well,you know, that guy's the worst.

404
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:59,250
This should be the greatest night
of my life, but I can't enjoy it.

405
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:03,850
I mean,it's just k-k-killing me that
somebody would say that about me.

406
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,330
I'm sure the person who said
it probably didn't mean it.

407
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,090
And it was probably toofer.

408
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,910
No,they meant it.

409
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,290
They think I'm a moron, just
like gilly and everyone else.

410
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:13,770
Even gilly made fun of you?

411
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:14,540
You know, it's funny,lemon.

412
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:20,850
I g-guess I'll always b-b-b-be
that k-k-k-k-k-k- k-k-k-k-k-

413
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,420
it was me! I did it!

414
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:25,650
I--I didn't mean any of it. I'm
sorry I said you could eat my poo.

415
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:28,460
it was me. I did it.

416
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,220
I know.

417
00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:35,130
I just wanted to get you to admit it.

418
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:38,490
And you do know how you're gonna
make this up to me,don't you?

419
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,020
Oh,god.

420
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,590
I've gotta write the deborah show.

421
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,560
She wants to sing in every episode.

422
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:48,040
You knew. How?

423
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,500
No onion rings? Ugh,this
place can eat my poo!

424
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:56,120
You say that word a lot
more than you realize.

425
00:19:56,130 --> 00:20:01,630
Now,I need you to initial
here, and sign here and here.

426
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,850
I've got to admit i
never thought I'd get you.

427
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:09,450
I mean,the stutter,
the certificate,gilly.

428
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,610
Yeah,well,I made up all that stuff
about the extra baby foot too.

429
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:15,010
I made that up--that was
to make you feel better.

430
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,490
I'll walk you out.

431
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,960
Heel,toe,lemon. Heel,toe.

432
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,630
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents

433
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,590
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ

434
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,700
stick around. Coming up
next we've got dog swap!